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October 17, 2010

i just tried spelling orange 8 different ways until i remembered how…….; what the heck

Rotary Weekend:!!

October 14, 2010

so recently i moved families! yes thank the lord! I now live in the same city of my school, which is a god send, i have one host sister the same age as me, and two brothers 14 and 12. I love my host parents to, so much. everyone here is so nice to me and really treat me great. i lvoe my room and everything, the first day i moved in, at dinner i felt completely at ease, and i could just feel my unhappiness and stress fade away. and believe me that is really needed in a host familt, especially if your going to stay with them for 5 months.

So little to say, i am feeling great, and this weekend all the exchange student in my district are meeting up in strasbourg and then going on a bus trip in the north of alsace! I am sooo excited to meet up with all my friends, but i am also supremely bummed that i am leaving my host family, i just love it here, i want to stay with them and not miss a moment of anything. and if i did not go i could meet my host dads brother from LA. but nope i gots to go. Well at lease it is something that i know i will definately enjoy, and i have yet to see strasbourg!

well everything is pretyt much going good, except i feel like i have hit a brick wall with my french, and i think i have already gained weight,,,,,,, ugggggg. friends are coming along, but i think i really need some times with my friends from the states and hear about their experiences.

why do i always do crap like this??

October 5, 2010

at a prime opportunity to fully show my grief and unhappyness i go and fuck it all up. tonight was the meeting of my rotary club that is sponsoring me. a lot of them come up to me after the meeting and ask how i am diong and how i like my family and such, i tell them its not so good, they ask more about why, i tell them i am an only child, my host dad creeps me out and is weirdly bizarre and he makes me feel really uncomfortable. they prod on i give explanations and examples for my feelings. until my counselor jumps in and says to me to stop talking about it, he does not have another family for me and i need to stop talking about it. i wade over to the edge of all of the people with my tail between my legs and almost start crying. god i was so embarrassed, oh my god why do i always do this time of stuff. just when my french is almost nearing proficient i go and screw it over with talking about how much i hate my host dad and how every thing is soooo hard and such, i need to stop complaining all the time. its so hard because its all i think about. i mean even though there are tons of things i love about my time here, i cant express how i feel when i have such a hard time coming home day after day. and the hardest part is the people who are in charge and in control of making something happen dont really seem to understand how much of a toll this is actually taking on me

October 5, 2010

I have often thought about what it would be like to have a map of your own brain. all the memories, all the weird dreams, all the absent thoughts, everything. how much of it would you want to keep? how much of it could you read or look through in your lifetime? how would you view yourself after reviewing all the feelings you felt throughout the hard stuff? and how many times did you actually pay attention to someone when they spoke?

i think about the times i wish i could replay and relive the emotions i had once felt, and the times in my life that i could never bear to live through again. majority of the time i would like to re read the strange and far out thoughts of my conscience and the hopes that have found them self twisted into dreams.

fete de prune

September 26, 2010

oooooooh, was last night grande or what?

After a painstakingly boring morning, daisy phoned me asking if i wanted to go to the ball with her and some other friends. i was a bit hesitant at first because i had never met her boyfriend and all of his friends, also there was the complete language barrier. Well JJ dropped me off at daisys house and he stayed for longer then i wanted, finally he left. i looked at all of daisys dads photos, A MASING. oh so many cool ones. after i ate a chocolate croissant. equally amasing.  (wow my english is already getting bad) after daisy and i walked to her friend Pauline’s house. we hung out there for about 20 mins, durring which her mom gave us this delishous italian drink, of wine mixed with this berry liquor… heaven. after that we walked to this lebanise restaurant and ate doner kebabs. ooooooohhh my lanta sooo good. delicious pita type meatiness. i know coming from me that is crazy, but it was so good. after we walked all the way to the village that the ball was at. durring the walk everyone of the people i was with insisted on practically chain smoking. gooohd do i hate cig smoke, this morning i thought i would never get the stench out of my hair. when we got to the ball it was prob 830, so everything was a bit slow. there were  bumper cars( i swear every festival, ball or neighborhood party, there are always bumper cars) also a huge claw machine with dirty stuffed things in them hahah. at about 10 we headed into the ball and there were tons of people in there. the music was Alsatian at first and daisy and i jokingly danced together. it was a bit like box step except for there was no box or pattern. After a while Valentin and Daisys boyfriend bought a bottle of wine and we all settled down. aroudn 1030 the music changed to techno/classics and we all went and danced. ohhh was that great, i think it was the first time i really got out there and was somewhat of myself. except i have to say my dance moves were a lot less freaky. it was really funny when hot and cold came on and of course i start screaming the whole song on the top of my lungs, everyone just laughs and stares at me because they have no idea how i could know the word. oh it was great jumping around with all my classmates being a freak.  at one point i swung my hair around like that guy in kiss, and this guy who i noticed creeping around earlier took of his shirt and put it on his head and imitated me…. i just nervously laughed and danced away.. haa.  it was also a great oppurtunity to scope out the men of the neighboring villages. it was especially funny/creepy, when a drunken man asked me something in drunken french and i looked to my friend for help and she just laughed..:( ha

well tomorrow i have 4 hours of rugby.. yes! and no, because i love rugby but no because i finnish at 5…:(

i dont think i have posted about rugby on here yet. i love it. in the 2 morning hours, we play with the boys and they cant technically tackle us but we can tackle them, there is this shit in my class who attacked me last time and i just about lost my legs. Last Monday it was sweet cuz i scored 2 points off of interceptions and one in offense. the 2 hours in the afternoon are a bit less fun, btu we play with just girls because there are enough, last week i scored 7 points. you would not believe how slow some of them are. i think all the cigs they smoke really effects them. its funny but at the same time i think some of the girls who thought they were hot stuff at first now resent me a bit. i really want to play for the rugby team of thann. daisy said that we will play other towns and i am soooooo excited. i really want one of the sweet long sleeved striped rugby shirts. also i do love me some rugby men...

ooof

September 19, 2010

oh man i realllllly want an itunes card, right about …. now!

boy scoots!

September 18, 2010

well as of now i am staying in my host counselors house for the weekend, its so pretty and big, they had 6 kids but now only 3 live at home. oh i love it here alsace. everyone here is so inviting and kind (except for this ass in my class) On friday some of my host familys friends came over for dinner, they stayed up for ever, and i was beat as always. yesterday i came over here and we ate such a good lunch and then headed of to the french equivalent of boy scouts in the states. i think is it a lot less formal and there are more girls who do it. oh it was so cute watching the little girls set up a tent and talk in rapid french, which i could understand most of :))) i made friends with this cute little girl named margot..hahah now i am here sitting in my bed, loving life and yaourt….hehehe